In terms of sex, we know very well that just about anything can happen…. That our lovemaking could be rudely interrupted at any given moment, for a variety of reasons -sometimes “internal” as well as external! The phone or the doorbell could ring, the electricity could cut out, the pizza delivery guy could arrive, or quite simply, one party might run out of steam…. the factors are manifold! But we bet you never experienced anything like the following testimonies to sexual frustration!
1/ An angry neighbour
We live in a fairly well insulated apartment, but during a particularly animated lovemaking session (I’m fairly expressive at the best of times), we heard a knock on the door. There was no way I was going to open the door, but my boyfriend appeared to temporarily lose his senses. He quickly got dressed and went to open the door, where he was met by our downstairs neighbour, announcing that she was hoping to have a quiet night in in front of the telly, but that her husband, aroused by the sounds of our antics, wouldn’t stop pestering her… It was one way of telling us we were making too much noise! In any case, my boyfriend said he has never in all his life been more mortified!
2/ Penis captivus
You think that it could never happen to you, that thing when the penis gets stuck in the vagina and can’t get out again. Well, that’s what happened to us! It didn’t last very long, but half the problem was being paralysed by the fear that we’d have to go to the emergency room, stuck together in a blanket like some sort of naked two headed monster! I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but in any case, it put a stop to our fun, for the moment…..
3/ A softening remark
My wife had come and was waiting for me to come. In the heat of the action, she looked at me and she said: “You can do it, buddy!” That was it, I lost my hard-on as quickly as if a balloon had been popped. We still laugh about it, but not in the bedroom….
4/ A stuck tampon
After a night out with my boyfriend, we were so horny that although I had my period, we started a little foreplay, knowing that we wouldn’t be able to “finish the game”, so to speak. However, when things started heating up, my boyfriend started to gently penetrate me, knowing that he couldn’t go too far. But all he managed to do was push my tampon in too far, so that I couldn’t get it out with my hands! We had to stop and go to the bathroom to try and get it out, using a tweezers! A nightmare….
5/ Misguided sweet nothings
Things were going on for a while, and my legs were getting tired. When we were changing position, I told my boyfriend that my legs felt like overcooked noodles. In a deep, sexy voice, he said to me, very seriously: “Oh yeah? But you’re MY little overcooked noodle”. The minute it was out of his mouth, he felt like an idiot, and I couldn’t stop laughing for long enough to try again!
