In our teenage years, virginity can come to be seen as nothing but a burden. How many times were we asked the killer question: “So have you already done it?” Without knowing exactly what to say, our response was usually a mixture of false assurances and a new type of embarrassment. Because let’s face it, in modern society, virginity is something that “should” be lost, and can be seen as a flaw in anyone who decides to keep it. Here are four of the worst and most ridiculous ideas that form part of our “knowledge” about virginity.
1/ The hymen is always broken during your first time
“The hymen (a small membrane that partially closes the opening of the vagina) is always broken the first time you have sex.” This belief, going back many centuries, is not necessarily true: the hymen can be broken before a woman ever experiences the pleasures of the flesh, for example, if she does a lot of sport, or masturbates using penetration.
2/ Everyone bleeds the first time they do it
Depending on the thickness of the hymen, the first time you have penetrative sex does not necessarily lead to bleeding. If this happens, it can be anything from a few drops to a more significant amount of blood, but it would never be like it is during your period.
3/ It is always painful the first time
Another belief about virginity: “the first time is always painful.” Be aware that, for many reasons, the vagina can be sensitive at any time during your sexual life, not only the first time. And sometimes, it is the morphology of the vagina that determines it, for example if the walls are very narrow. That said, fortunately many lucky women do not feel pain the first time they have sex -quite the opposite, in fact…. Because, outside of physiology, pain during sex comes primarily from psychological factors such as anxiety or fear of the unknown, which doesn’t help with relaxation of the most intimate muscles.
4/ You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex
A myth that is sometimes taken seriously by young girls: “you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex”. We don’t know where this absurd belief came from, but whoever spread such rumours needs to revise their biology lessons! Unprotected sex is still unprotected sex, the first time or otherwise, and being a virgin absolutely does not protect you from pregnancy or STDs.
